If you’re used to being independent and in control, burnout can feel like failure.
The thought that you are not able to function to the level you once did can bring on feelings of shame of not being good enough. You may even feel embarrassed. You were always the strong and dependable one.
And then there is the guilt, especially for caregivers. The feeling that you are letting people down by not being able to be available for anyone. And the fear of being a burden on someone instead.
But a lot of the time, what is not understood (or maybe overlooked) is that burnout, more often than not, is a sign of an overloaded nervous system.
It’s not a sign of being unable to cope. Nor because of being overworked.
It’s the body´s way of saying you need to stop, reset and recharge. Your energy levels are depleted because of long-term chronic stress and an overstimulated nervous system that has been ignored.
How Burnout Hijacks Your Nervous System
It all starts with avoidance.
When uncomfortable feelings come up, some of us don’t give ourselves space to feel, understand, and release them. Instead of going through this healing process, we avoid—keeping the emotions trapped in our body.
Left unresolved or unacknowledged over a long period of time, this trauma or chronic stress locked in the body begins to manifest in different unhealthy ways,
The fear of what will happen if we unravel these emotions creates a resistance. So rather than dealing with this, the body goes into shutdown.
But avoidance doesn’t resolve the stress—it tells the body that the threat is still there.
Negative thoughts automatically activates a memory stored in our subconscious mind and manifests as a problem, triggering the nervous system to react.
The more we suppress, the more the nervous system stays on high alert, convinced we’re still in danger.
Our mind’s main aim is to protect us. If it senses any fear, it will perceive it as danger and trigger the Sympathetic Nervous System to be on alert and be ready for a fight, flight or freeze response.
And a lot of the time, it’s rooted in unhealed trauma.
The long-term effects of unhealed trauma
As long as trauma remains unhealed and stressor-related symptoms ignored, the Sympathetic Nervous System doesn’t get to switch off from its triggers.
Instead it keeps the body in shut-down mode and ready for danger. This causes an ongoing strain on the nervous system and so much tension in the body.
The whole system feels overwhelmed and leads to burn out with devastating consequences:
- On a Physical level – Burnout can lead to exhaustion, chronic fatigue, headaches and muscle tension, unexplained aches and pains, digestive problems, respiratory infections and a weakened immune system.
- On an emotional level – You may feel unstable, unmotivated, irritable, or detached from everything and everyone.
- On a mental level – The inability to think straight or remember things, overthinking, decision making. Feeling defeated or stuck in a negative mindset can potentially lead to depression.
Burnout can also lead to addiction—be it substance abuse, work, shopping, gambling, over-exerting the body in the gym, food, sex, or social media.
Wanting to get better or prove you are managing is channelled in a different direction. This in itself can trigger feelings of shame and guilt.
Ultimatly though, addiction is really about getting away from any feeling of discomfort or potential hurt, it’s a form of escape.
Is Shame and Guilt Keeping You in a Burnout Cycle?
Burnout may show up for you in different ways: physically, mentally, and emotionally. But worse is the shame and guilt you’re carrying for not being able to cope with day-to-day life. It feels like a sign of weakness somehow.
You are so used to prioritising everyone else that self-care feels selfish. Self-sabotaging thoughts tell you that you SHOULD have taken better care of yourself. You may even feel you don’t deserve the help offered because there is the shame of having brought this on yourself.
And because of these un-serving feelings, the work needed to sooth and calm your nervous system keeps getting hijacked instead. So, the cycle continues. But ultimately, everything that happened before the burnout was a trauma response to not feeling safe.
Burnout is the body’s way of saying it needs rest and care, it gives the nervous system a chance to come back into balance. Living in survival mode for too long takes a toll—not just on your body but also on your sense of self-worth.
Allow yourself to be compassionate and understanding, rather than practicing self-judgement or criticism. Be kind to yourself.
Burnout isn’t a flaw in you—it’s a sign of how much you have carried. Your body isn’t betraying you, it’s guiding you back to what it needs.
And the first step isn’t to push harder. It’s to listen.
If any of this resonates with you, I hear you. As a Holistic Coach I´m here for you to support you and help guide you through it.
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