Not all pain begins in the body. Some of it begins in what we were unable to feel, say, or release.
When a trauma has been experienced and the energy of the emotion felt at the time of impact hasn’t been acknowledged, expressed, or dispelled, it can turn into a tight ball of emotional energy—what we call an energy cyst in CranioSacral Therapy.
The energy of emotions needs to be felt in order to dissipate and pass through us. If it doesn’t, the unvoiced or unheard emotions that were felt at the time of the trauma develop into physical symptoms.
They become somatic.
That is to say: they get stored and manifest as pain and discomfort that doesn’t show up on medical tests.
That is what the Emotional Pain Body is: the effects of unexpressed or suppressed emotions silently hidden within the realm of the body.
The body is keeping the memory of the emotional feelings and turning them into stagnant energy.
There are many causes of the stunting of emotional expression. Fear, shame, different social genders. It can develop from emotional neglect in childhood. From non-physical sources, too, be it unaccepted grief or being a witness to tragedy, or exposure to incredibly traumatic circumstances such as violence, death, sexual abuse or rape.
All these events can literally ‘shock’ the nervous system into silence and suppress the heavy energy and burden of the emotions felt yet not understood at the moment of impact.
Your body remembers what you were never able to express.
How the Emotional Pain Body affects your body and mind
When the emotional component of the Emotional Pain Body is not addressed—not released—it can significantly disturb quality of life.
Unexpressed emotions do not vanish because we carry on. They can continue to affect the neurological and psychological aspects of our being. The way we relate to ourselves and others.
“Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.”
What Sigmund Freud meant is that emotions, unless dealt with, will inevitably resurface and come out later in life as depression, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, and rage.
(On a personal note, I prefer to use the term `in more painful ways´ rather than `uglier´)
Some of the physical symptoms of unexpressed emotional distress are:
- Muscle tension
- Headaches
- Neck, shoulder and back pain
- Stiff joints, especially in the hips
- Respiratory problems such as asthma
- Gastrointestinal dysfunction and digestive issues
- urinary tract infection
- Low sex drive
These are often the very issues that bring many of my clients to CranioSacral Therapy. It can also, at times, develop into more serious illnesses such as cancer or chronic inflammation.
Psychologically, it can affect mental well-being and cognitive dysfunction that can lead to:
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Eating disorders
- Substance abuse and addictions
- Compulsive behaviors
- Extreme mood swings
In some severe cases, it can even lead to self-harm or suicide.
The stress of suppressing emotions can also impact the lives of loved ones around you. When the reflex to avoid emotion is so strong, we may unintentionally hurt others by becoming passive-aggressive or emotionally distant. We may resort to ghosting because it feels safer than expressing our hurt feelings.
It’s not uncommon for many of my clients to come to me with strained relationships that they don’t wish for but struggle to maintain in a healthy way.
There’s no judgment. Only an invitation to understand what your body, emotions, and nervous system have been trying to communicate.
Why your emotional pain deserves to be taken seriously
Emotions are the messengers to our nervous system and our navigators to what feels good for us—and what feels off. When trauma of any kind has been experienced, be it in childhood or as an adult, it can feel challenging to trust in our ability to connect and use this inner compass.
This is part of what can make healing the Emotional Pain Body so difficult.
The ‘emotion’ itself is often not taken seriously. Instead, it is often very easily dismissed or unfairly judged and shamed.
By that token, adequate time and attention are not given to address the underlying issues hidden by layers of protection against uncomfortable and often painful emotions held within the memory tissues of the body.
But what you resist persists. All that tension, tightness, discomfort and physical pain remains unchanged. The half-lived, unfulfilled life goes on.
How to release the emotional pain body
The way forward is not forcing emotions to the surface before you feel ready, but rather creating enough safety for what has been held in the body to begin to soften—easing the tension and pain with it.
For release (and relief) to happen, the presence of emotions needs to be felt and accepted. And this can only come from the Emotional Pain Body being acknowledged, seen, heard and understood.
Unfortunately, the symptoms connected to the Emotional Pain Body are often referred to as physical or psychological issues. And a person, more often than not, is either medicated or, at times, on a more serious level, operated on unnecessarily.
Both of these forms of treatment can, in some cases, have long-term damaging effects on an individual’s well-being.
The Emotional Pain Body needs to feel a renewed sense of safety within in order to dissipate the emotional energetic congestion from a past trauma.
By its very nature, emotion is energy in motion and needs to move through us rather than getting stuck somewhere in the body, causing pain and discomfort.
Befriending and trusting the Emotional Pain Body, when it has been deeply hurt, has to be given the same care and attention, and affection, that a physical injury or a mental breakdown needs, and for it to also be given time to heal, with unconditional love, compassion and understanding.
8 Gentle Ways To Support the Emotional Pain Body
Acknowledging and accepting our emotions as valuable tools for our recovery is essential for healing the Emotional Pain Body and returning to an overall sense of well-being.
These practices do not need to be done perfectly. Start gently, and choose what feels safest for your body today:
- Connect with your body: Acknowledge every sensation that is present. Your breath. Your heartbeat and its rhythm and pulse throughout your body. Any tightness, heat, cold, tension, or discomfort. Really connect with all the felt senses
- Breathe: Take three slow, deep breaths in through the nose, filling the lower belly and letting it rise to the top. Hold for a moment (without effort), then gently and slowly release the breath through the mouth. Let the exhale be longer than the inhale. These three slow breaths in and out massage the nervous system into a state of calm and safety.
- Move the energy: You might dance or shake (Taylor Swift’s song Shake It Off is a great one for this) or go for a run. Sometimes an energetic activity really helps shift the energy and lift the mood. This does not need to be intense. Even a few minutes of movement can help create a sense of release.
- Creatively express: Draw or write. Play an instrument if you can. Get creative with your emotions. Sing. Scribble. Use colour. Let the emotion have somewhere to go. Creative expression gives feeling a form without needing to explain it perfectly.
- Change your surroundings: Go for a walk (ideally in nature). Changing your environment can help interrupt the loop of rumination, heaviness, or emotional overwhelm. Let yourself notice what is around you. The ground beneath your feet. The air on your skin. The colour of the trees. The rhythm of walking. Small sensory details can help bring the nervous system back into the present moment.
- Find mindfulness meditations: These are deeply powerful for helping release and let go of the memories of the past that no longer serve you in a gentle way. Our painful emotions are usually related to the past.
- Invite safe connection: Don’t hesitate to reach out to a safe and trusted friend or family member, or connect with a support group either online or near you. Emotional pain often grows heavier in isolation. Safe connection can remind the nervous system that you do not have to carry everything alone. Choose someone who can listen without rushing to fix you.
- Enlist professional support: Sometimes the Emotional Pain Body needs more than self-practice. It may need the presence of someone trained to hold a safe, compassionate space while you begin to explore what has been held in the body, emotions, and nervous system. This is not a failure. It is a support system.
Remember, nothing is ever permanent, including the uncomfortable feelings of an Emotional Pain Body.
Seasons and weathers change, ocean tides ebb and flow constantly change, energy moves and changes and so do emotions
The path we walk is never the same twice.
If you feel called to explore what your body and emotions have been carrying, you are welcome to email me to learn more about online or in-person support.
leave a comment